That time I uncovered one of the internet's biggest secrets...

Strap yourself in for a Twitter adventure.

Whichever name you had for it, everyone remembers #CumGate. It was the ultimate exposé of the Tory Government's hipocracy during the pandemic. But it made a hero out of one quick-witted government staffer through the Trojan Horse of a Tweet below...

In the 12 minutes before the Tweet went down it achieved viral fame, and the whole of the frustrated UK tipped their hats to a mysterious internet prankster. But I decided to go one further. In response to the Civil Service's swiftness in deleting the Tweet and trying to sweep the incident under the carpet I delved into the world of Twitter bots.

The goal: to create an account with the sole purpose of sending that same Tweet, twice a day, ad infinitem. The end-result: a Twitter account that had 10k followers in the first day and sits around the 20k mark now, with each Tweet still getting thousands of likes every day...

But that's not where the story ends.

A few months later I receive a message from a stranger featuring a mysterious meme...

It was the Scarlet Pimpernel himself!!

Twitter's most notorious sleuth had revealed himself to me. The person who the internet was seeking to adorn with medals and the Civil Service was after for their head was offering to blow the lid on the whole story for me. Well, after an exhilarating chat, here's what I can tell you...

Unfortunately I promised the secretive vigilante I wouldn't blow his cover to the rest of the world, which is a shame on your part coz it's a hell of a story...

One little morsel of intel he told me I could break, however, was a real doozy. Notorious Twitter villian JK Rowling had sent this Tweet in admiration for the initial incident...

But did she stand by her promise? In increasingly typical JK form apparently not. Our hero had tried to get in contact with JK's team to redeem the offer in the form of a charity donation, but had been rebuffed at every turn and fed washy excuses by her people.

To break this news but also give JK a last chance to honour her pledge I broke the format of my Twitter page with an announcement - but mimicked the original words in doing so...

The followers reacted, bombarding JK with requests to follow up her offer and berating her for not doing so already. But sadly the requests so far have not been met with a response, and that's where our Twitter adventure ends.

The page to this day still has upwards of 20k followers, and plently of engagement in comments. For many the regular Tweets seem to have become part of their daily routine.

And @#%£ and I have agreed to have a pint the next time I'm in *!$€@&.